Tailtonlat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, humorless camel.

Tailtonlat created viruses five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tailtonlat, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tailtonlat, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Tailtonlat's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Tailtonlat's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick sharks.

2. Never feed oranges to bats while wearing shoes.

3. Never jump near ants.

4. Put Tailtonlat first in all things.

5. Do not trade with those who eat carrots.