Febbadlad is a god.

She takes the form of a small, self-assured porpoise.

Febbadlad created carbon four billion years ago.

If you believe in Febbadlad, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Febbadlad, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Febbadlad's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Febbadlad's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never think about dark energy.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never mention voles.