Figzagnar is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, humane bear.

Figzagnar created the Sun two billion years ago.

If you believe in Figzagnar, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Figzagnar, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Figzagnar's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Figzagnar's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare gooseberries during winter.

2. Do not take Figzagnar's name in vain.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never feed turnips to gulls while wearing green coats.

5. Never speak aloud of numbers.