Bugratnib is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, self-assured chinchilla.

Bugratnib created an up quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Bugratnib, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bugratnib, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Bugratnib's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Bugratnib's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about bacteria.

2. Retreat if nine manatees approach from the west.

3. Never feed lots of turnips to mice while wearing violet stockings.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never wear turquoise shirts.