Labbamgess is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, all-knowing goat.

Labbamgess created Europe three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Labbamgess, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Labbamgess, it will remove you from existence.

Labbamgess' most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Labbamgess' Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in holy places.

2. Hide from yellow horses for they are unholy.

3. Always remove jumpers before entering holy places.

4. Do not turn your face toward south.

5. Always wear violet.