Gabtomhas is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, boastful monkey.

Gabtomhas created a top quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gabtomhas, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Gabtomhas, she will turn you into a snail.

Gabtomhas' most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Gabtomhas' Holy Commandments

1. Heed all signs.

2. Do not prepare spinach while wearing stockings.

3. Never bounce near doves.

4. Never remain standing during dawn.

5. Feed all hungry dogs.