Garvolgum is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, effective dove.

Garvolgum created the Sun nine million years ago.

If you believe in Garvolgum, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Garvolgum, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Garvolgum's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Garvolgum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair white.

2. Worship no other gods but Garvolgum.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Garvolgum in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never talk about dark matter.