Tabsisbifbess is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, prudent narwhal.

Tabsisbifbess created the solar system nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tabsisbifbess, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tabsisbifbess, it will try to impress you with trees.

Tabsisbifbess' most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Tabsisbifbess' Holy Commandments

1. Never feed tomatoes to otters while wearing purple dresses.

2. Never feed lots of limes to shrews while wearing red trousers.

3. Do not study nucleic acids on holy days.

4. Erect a giant white sculpture of Tabsisbifbess in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not chop down trees.