Cinduttaf Stikflatpid is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, unfair tapir.

Cinduttaf Stikflatpid created a strange quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cinduttaf Stikflatpid, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cinduttaf Stikflatpid, she will not care.

Cinduttaf Stikflatpid's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Cinduttaf Stikflatpid's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into pink rooms.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always help rats in need.

4. Never feed corn to frogs while wearing brown kilts.

5. Never talk about gravity.