Cemquagponmetgutbemkin is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, bad-tempered lobster.

Cemquagponmetgutbemkin created Africa six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cemquagponmetgutbemkin, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Cemquagponmetgutbemkin, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Cemquagponmetgutbemkin's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Cemquagponmetgutbemkin's Holy Commandments

1. Always help snails in need.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not wear cyan clothing.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never write about asteroids.