Nartnibrutt is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, unsympathetic hamster.

Nartnibrutt created the Cigar Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartnibrutt, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Nartnibrutt, it will turn you into a sheep.

Nartnibrutt's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Nartnibrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never look at galaxies.

3. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

4. Feed all hungry bats.

5. Never play with disobedient children.