Ortquart is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, almighty faun.

Ortquart created silver two million years ago.

If you believe in Ortquart, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Ortquart, it will turn you into a mouse.

Ortquart's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Ortquart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Retreat if eight seals approach from the north.

4. Always make sure there are no moths in a room before entering it.

5. Do not commit murder.