Kangofsas is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, clever scorpion.

Kangofsas created Europe seven million years ago.

If you believe in Kangofsas, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kangofsas, it will curse you with boils.

Kangofsas' most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Kangofsas' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never gather three goats in one place.

4. Do not prepare tomatoes while filled with anger.

5. Hide if seven turtles approach from the south.