Zedtifhon is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, omnipotent toad.

Zedtifhon created a strange quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Zedtifhon, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Zedtifhon, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Zedtifhon's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Zedtifhon's Holy Commandments

1. Put Zedtifhon first in all things.

2. Never go into magenta rooms.

3. You must never eat tomatoes.

4. Always act with humility when addressing children.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Zedtifhon.