Labgutnig is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, effective gorilla.

Labgutnig created the Sun three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Labgutnig, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Labgutnig, he will send you a sign.

Labgutnig's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Labgutnig's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of peanuts to capybaras while wearing mauve jumpers.

2. Erect a giant black sculpture of Labgutnig in the centre of the settlement.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never go into indigo rooms.

5. Do not wear green clothing.