Vabsigtonk is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, stupid aardvark.

Vabsigtonk created the Milkyway four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vabsigtonk, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Vabsigtonk, he will turn you into a duck.

Vabsigtonk's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Vabsigtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never think about solid mechanics.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.