Yatdudhatbap is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, clever owl.

Yatdudhatbap created an atom seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Yatdudhatbap, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Yatdudhatbap, it will cry a lot.

Yatdudhatbap's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Yatdudhatbap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not speak about nuts.

5. Never think about dark matter near dogs while wearing black shirts and balancing six carbon spheres on your back.