Satmiphon is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, stupid crane.

Satmiphon created humanity two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Satmiphon, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Satmiphon, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Satmiphon's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Satmiphon's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Never think about dwarf planets.

4. Do not hurt manatees.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.