Vonkmitsad is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, slow swallow.

Vonkmitsad created the planet Earth twelve years ago.

If you believe in Vonkmitsad, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Vonkmitsad, she will cry a lot.

Vonkmitsad's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Vonkmitsad's Holy Commandments

1. Always help squirrels.

2. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Vonkmitsad in the centre of the settlement.