Sadmonyatt is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, merciful grasshopper.

Sadmonyatt created the universe three billion years ago.

If you believe in Sadmonyatt, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Sadmonyatt, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Sadmonyatt's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Sadmonyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Never handle nickel while unclean.

2. Do not wear indigo clothing.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not turn your neck toward south.

5. You must love Sadmonyatt.