Canartbet is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, two-faced turtle.

Canartbet created dark matter seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Canartbet, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Canartbet, he will jump up and down on your head.

Canartbet's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Canartbet's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat tomatoes.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Canartbet in the centre of the settlement.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Canartbet.

5. Never talk about special relativity near doves while wearing mauve dresses and balancing five titanium spheres on your arms.