Rotlakpit is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, idiotic octopus.

Rotlakpit created the Andromeda Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Rotlakpit, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Rotlakpit, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Rotlakpit's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Rotlakpit's Holy Commandments

1. Remain prostrate during prayer.

2. Always look after injured dogs.

3. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.