Carhangessham is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, temperamental ferret.

Carhangessham created snails seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Carhangessham, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Carhangessham, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Carhangessham's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Carhangessham's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if eight otters approach from the west.

2. Never write about dark energy.

3. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never go into blue rooms.