Jamcib Cuntomtag is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, idiotic swallow.

Jamcib Cuntomtag created Mount Everest nine million years ago.

If you believe in Jamcib Cuntomtag, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Jamcib Cuntomtag, she will manifest in front of you.

Jamcib Cuntomtag's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Jamcib Cuntomtag's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed nuts to ants while wearing pink shoes.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

3. Hide if five squirrels approach from the south.

4. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

5. Run away from cyan capybaras, for they are unholy.