Donbemkipont is a god.

He takes the form of a small, caring dugong.

Donbemkipont created water four billion years ago.

If you believe in Donbemkipont, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Donbemkipont, he will turn you into a rock.

Donbemkipont's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Donbemkipont's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed strawberries to bats while wearing hats.

2. Never chant near foxes.

3. Never talk about ultrasonics.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Fast once a month.