Flanmoblarp is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, flying goose.

Flanmoblarp created the Sombrero Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flanmoblarp, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Flanmoblarp, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Flanmoblarp's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Flanmoblarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about spacetime near snakes while wearing blue shirts and balancing seven tin spheres on your back.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Flanmoblarp.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Run away from red eagles, for they are unholy.

5. Never gather five dogs in one place.