Hotlitflam Wonnultenlab is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, sapient elephant.

Hotlitflam Wonnultenlab created matter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hotlitflam Wonnultenlab, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hotlitflam Wonnultenlab, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Hotlitflam Wonnultenlab's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Hotlitflam Wonnultenlab's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always obey Hotlitflam Wonnultenlab's priests.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near otters while wearing cyan ear rings and balancing seven zinc spheres on your face.

4. Never stain your neck with yellow.

5. Never talk about stars.