Yogkinjip is a god.

She takes the form of a large, loving pig.

Yogkinjip created a top quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yogkinjip, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Yogkinjip, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Yogkinjip's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Yogkinjip's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Yogkinjip's priests.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not eat parsnips.

4. Do not wear violet clothing.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.