Bigflabjat is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, awe-inspiring meerkat.

Bigflabjat created an atom three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bigflabjat, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bigflabjat, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Bigflabjat's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Bigflabjat's Holy Commandments

1. Put Bigflabjat first in all things.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never paint your head fawn.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snails.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.