Vidstafban is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, blissful walrus.

Vidstafban created Asia six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vidstafban, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Vidstafban, she will try to impress you with trees.

Vidstafban's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Vidstafban's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never remain bowed during midday.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.