Kopcudbembep is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, self-assured jaguar.

Kopcudbembep created humankind four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kopcudbembep, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Kopcudbembep, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Kopcudbembep's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Kopcudbembep's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow tapirs to sleep beneath your roof.

2. Never prepare wheat during winter.

3. Never hop near moths.

4. Do not hurt doves.

5. Never cross forests at midday.