Tamnurtstandapflamnill is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, resourceful wasp.

Tamnurtstandapflamnill created snails nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tamnurtstandapflamnill, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tamnurtstandapflamnill, it will laugh at you.

Tamnurtstandapflamnill's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Tamnurtstandapflamnill's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not hurt tortoises.

3. Never wear shorts.

4. Hide if five cats approach from the north.

5. Fast once a month.