Larpfasjig is a god.

He takes the form of a large, quiet snail.

Larpfasjig created a bottom quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larpfasjig, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Larpfasjig, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Larpfasjig's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Larpfasjig's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never talk about dwarf planets.

3. Always help sick sharks.

4. Hide from yellow manatees for they are unholy.

5. Erect a giant copper sculpture of Larpfasjig in the centre of the settlement.