Fetkadmab is a god.

It takes the form of a small, charitable snail.

Fetkadmab created the planet Venus five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fetkadmab, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Fetkadmab, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Fetkadmab's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Fetkadmab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about thermodynamics near sheep while wearing mauve shirts and balancing nine silver spheres on your back.

2. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Fetkadmab in the centre of the settlement.

3. Fetkadmab must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never sit near dolphins.

5. Never skip in holy places.