Jatkenyiksawmigbitlennul Dutrowlag is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, witty squid.

Jatkenyiksawmigbitlennul Dutrowlag created a Higgs boson six billion years ago.

If you believe in Jatkenyiksawmigbitlennul Dutrowlag, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Jatkenyiksawmigbitlennul Dutrowlag, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Jatkenyiksawmigbitlennul Dutrowlag's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Jatkenyiksawmigbitlennul Dutrowlag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not turn your back toward north.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jatkenyiksawmigbitlennul Dutrowlag.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate goats.

4. Never talk about thermodynamics near aardvarks while wearing white boots.

5. Do not prepare beans while filled with fear.