Nuljipnad is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, proud squirrel.

Nuljipnad created dark energy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nuljipnad, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Nuljipnad, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Nuljipnad's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Nuljipnad's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Nuljipnad.

2. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.