Benmidnab is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, witty centipede.

Benmidnab created the Tadpole Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Benmidnab, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Benmidnab, she will turn you into a dog.

Benmidnab's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Benmidnab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near squirrels while wearing black shoes.

2. Retreat if seven great tits approach from the east.

3. Never wear blue hats.

4. Never touch oil while blessed.

5. Do not gather at wells at dusk.