Largtettisat is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, emotional hyena.

Largtettisat created humankind eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Largtettisat, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Largtettisat, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Largtettisat's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Largtettisat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not record names concerning stars.

2. Do not shave your back.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not prepare garlic while filled with envy.

5. Never wear gray trousers on sacred days.