Arplograw Faggudpad is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, compassionate deer.

Arplograw Faggudpad created the Cigar Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arplograw Faggudpad, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Arplograw Faggudpad, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Arplograw Faggudpad's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Arplograw Faggudpad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Always wear orange.

5. Hide if eight hamsters approach from the south.