Bamlistvin Metdaptig is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, clever wyvern.

Bamlistvin Metdaptig created tapeworms six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bamlistvin Metdaptig, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Bamlistvin Metdaptig, she will destroy your home planet.

Bamlistvin Metdaptig's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Bamlistvin Metdaptig's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest violet.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bamlistvin Metdaptig.

5. Worship no other gods but Bamlistvin Metdaptig.