Kinyatwee is a god.

She takes the form of a small, two-faced parrot.

Kinyatwee created carbon three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kinyatwee, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Kinyatwee, she will think nothing of it.

Kinyatwee's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Kinyatwee's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not take Kinyatwee's name in vain.

3. Retreat if six cats approach from the east.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.