Carjigcud Sidtettimob Ditgigont is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, tranquil tapir.

Carjigcud Sidtettimob Ditgigont created Africa two million years ago.

If you believe in Carjigcud Sidtettimob Ditgigont, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Carjigcud Sidtettimob Ditgigont, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Carjigcud Sidtettimob Ditgigont's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Carjigcud Sidtettimob Ditgigont's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not eat oranges.

5. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Carjigcud Sidtettimob Ditgigont in the centre of the settlement.