Fasdussteen is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, irritating cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Fasdussteen created water nine million years ago.

If you believe in Fasdussteen, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fasdussteen, he will destroy your home solar system.

Fasdussteen's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Fasdussteen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

2. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.

3. Never feed turnips to bats while wearing magenta skirts.

4. Always obey Fasdussteen's priests.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.