Fardapkom Hadboncam is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, slow spider.

Fardapkom Hadboncam created a strange quark four years ago.

If you believe in Fardapkom Hadboncam, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fardapkom Hadboncam, it will turn you into a duck.

Fardapkom Hadboncam's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Fardapkom Hadboncam's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the west during summer.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Learn three new languages a year.

4. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.