Nilarmlat Cetgof Ruttbadyarp is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, contented hare.

Nilarmlat Cetgof Ruttbadyarp created parasitic wasps nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Nilarmlat Cetgof Ruttbadyarp, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Nilarmlat Cetgof Ruttbadyarp, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Nilarmlat Cetgof Ruttbadyarp's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Nilarmlat Cetgof Ruttbadyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never think about dark matter.

3. Do not keep four aardvarks in a large pit.

4. Never think about bacteria.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.