Padtafflat is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, astonishing rhinoceros.

Padtafflat created time and space seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Padtafflat, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Padtafflat, it will try to impress you with trees.

Padtafflat's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Padtafflat's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about cell theory.

2. Never think about optics near snails while wearing fawn dresses and balancing nine lead spheres on your legs.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never write about quantum gravity.