Kanyokfarn is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, uncaring beaver.

Kanyokfarn created the planet Venus five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kanyokfarn, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kanyokfarn, she will turn you into a hamster.

Kanyokfarn's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Kanyokfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

2. Hide from indigo shrews for they are unholy.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

4. Never handle carbon while unclean.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.