Artvolditfig is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, conceited mole.

Artvolditfig created dark matter eight million years ago.

If you believe in Artvolditfig, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Artvolditfig, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Artvolditfig's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Artvolditfig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never eat parsnips.

4. Never handle aluminium while unclean.

5. Artvolditfig must be the most important thing in your life.