Kensignel is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, amazing octopus.

Kensignel created a Higgs boson eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kensignel, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Kensignel, he will throw large rocks at you.

Kensignel's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Kensignel's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. You must never eat bananas.

3. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never eat bark.

5. You must love Kensignel.