Bapbenken Homhimhun is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, sapient jaguar.

Bapbenken Homhimhun created Asia five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bapbenken Homhimhun, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bapbenken Homhimhun, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Bapbenken Homhimhun's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Bapbenken Homhimhun's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about special relativity near eagles while wearing magenta trousers and balancing three gold spheres on your legs.

2. Never talk about cell theory.

3. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in white.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Run away if six tapirs approach from the north.