Witkenyog is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, staggering squirrel.

Witkenyog created an atom three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Witkenyog, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Witkenyog, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Witkenyog's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Witkenyog's Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your arms with white.

2. Always look after injured horses.

3. Retreat if five moths approach from the west.

4. Never go into black rooms.

5. Never pray while filled with envy.