Sigfabcep Barnpiggov is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, confident squid.

Sigfabcep Barnpiggov created an atom two years ago.

If you believe in Sigfabcep Barnpiggov, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Sigfabcep Barnpiggov, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Sigfabcep Barnpiggov's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Sigfabcep Barnpiggov's Holy Commandments

1. Whales are not to be trusted.

2. Sigfabcep Barnpiggov loves otters, so they must be respected.

3. Always make sure there are no cats in a room before entering it.

4. Learn four new languages a year.

5. Do not covet oxen.