Bessjanjon is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, astonishing beaver.

Bessjanjon created the Large Magellanic Cloud three million years ago.

If you believe in Bessjanjon, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bessjanjon, it will have a low opinion of you.

Bessjanjon's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Bessjanjon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not trade with those who eat beans.

3. Always treat monkeys with great respect.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never sit in the presence of gulls.